Losing a loved one

a memoralisation wall in Brazil

Why do we talk of 'losing' a loved one, when that person dies. For one thing it sounds rather careless and trivial, especially if like me you are constantly losing things!! A death of  a loved one needs more gravitas than an umbrella left behind in a train or an earring dropped on a dance floor, or a camera battery lost, who knows where..... Second, we don't really 'lose' the person at all.  They remain in our memory constantly, when we celebrate the fun times we shared, recall words of advice and wisdom, miss their presence on special occasions, and ritualise their passage into the after life through various acts of memorialisation.  Speaking of death euphemistically could be a reflection of our inability to come to terms with probably the ONLY certainty of our lives.  As I enter the 'departure lounge'and grapple with my own fears and uncertainties, I know one thing for sure.  I'd rather be dead than lost!

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